Monday, 13 December 2010

  •  

    I've started thinking again & i really hate it.

    I don't want to think so much because i know my thoughts will run wild and yeah i will start blurting out rubbish but how what to do.

     

Wednesday, 30 June 2010


  • I've been doing a hell lot of soul-searching. As i grow older, i learnt, i see things. How much i want myself not to be cold-blooded or selfish towards certain things now, i just can't do it, can do it no longer. As i was jogging today, i kinda reflected and realised it's nobody's fault. This is just the way it is. There's always a flaw in everything, a thing, someone, friendships, relationships. Nothing, no one can be ever perfect. So much as i want to use my heart to think, i can't. In such a world, i have to use my mind to think even if my heart think the otherwise. I hate to say that as i grow older, i see the need to protect myself even more. I used to believe in the more you put in give in to something, someone, the same amount of results or benefits you will get. Was i innocent or smthing? So now im more self centred? I know that somehow sometime i will have only myself to count on, nobody i can rely on. I've to get stronger because out there, i will be the only one looking out for myself, like stepping on a ground full of broken glass pieces, once i stray i will get hurt.

    I'm not really working now, not doing really anything except hanging out hanging out hanging out. This long period of holidays has left me thinking alot. Well not really thinking cause i don't feel like to but more of understanding things or people around me the way they act the way why things work out in such ways. But you know, it's always hard trying to reconcile my heartfelt personal opinion perspective with the correct answer.
    I don't really know why i care typing this blog post. I don't really know what this rant is all about. I'm just really confused about everything. It's the first time i feel so lost yet alive in so many days.

    Just let me find a way out soon, real soon please.


Friday, 18 June 2010